Being real is a scary and risky task because being real means that we are exposing the inner parts of our hearts and struggles. That’s a big deal. Allowing others a glimpse into the most vulnerable parts of our heart is not a task that many are fond of. In my opinion though, what's more scary, is feeling like you are alone.
Especially alone in our sin struggles. The enemy is a big jerk who uses that against us. Plants the ideas and lies in our minds that we are alone. That if people really knew what you were going through they would hate you, reject you, and look differently at you. That who you are is not good enough. The lies flood our minds so easily. I guarantee each and every one of us have felt this way, we believe the lies: that we’re not good enough, that our struggles and our fears define who we are, and if we were to ever open up about those things, then we will be judged, hated, or not accepted.
Lies. All from Satan. He wants you to hold onto all of that. He doesn’t want you to open up about what’s really going on in your heart – he wants you to stuff it down deep inside and hide it from the world. He wants to make you feel alone.
If you get anything out of reading this I hope it's this: That you are NOT alone.
Regardless of what you are going through, regardless of what you did, regardless of how you feel, regardless of the sin you struggle with…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Sin has a way of making us feel alone. The sin we struggle with seems easier to hold on to then try to confess it to someone. Holding onto sin is a tiring, pointless task that doesn’t get us anywhere. It just leaves us feeling empty, disgusted, and alone. The cycle of falling into that sin again and again can’t be broken on our own. We fail when we try to crawl out of the depths of our own struggles.
The only way to break the cycle is to come to Jesus. His death and resurrection broke the power of sin in our lives. We are no longer slaves to those things.
Ephesians 5:11-13 says “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible.”
Want to break the cycle of sin? The first step is to expose it. Share the struggle with someone you trust and allow God to start healing your heart.
Sharing our struggles is hard to do though when you feel like you are alone or that you are the only one struggling with a particular sin.
During my middle school years, I stumbled across porn and masturbation. I don’t really know how or why, but I did. Before I knew it I was addicted. A middle school GIRL addicted to porn. At the time it was great, it was an escape from the hurt and loneliness in my life. But after I would feel gross, stupid, unclean and a terrible person. I wanted to stop, but I knew to stop I needed to surrender it to God, and I knew the only way I could surrender it to Him was if I didn’t have to do it alone.
I was ashamed and I felt gross, so I was not at a point where I was ready to share the struggle. I had a mind full of fears of what would happen if I was honest about it.
Another reason I wasn’t ready was because it was never a thing that was talked about as being a girl's problem. I was pretty convinced I was the only girl who struggled with porn and masturbation and that made me feel even worse. Made me feel even more alone.
That was a lie from the enemy. A stupid messed up lie. Porn and masturbation are not just a girls problem or not just a guys problem. It’s a human problem. It’s a sin problem.
I’ve been a Christian for a long time and I can count on one hand how many times I have heard a woman share about this struggle, and that is sad, because I know it is more common than that. But I felt alone. We as christian sisters (and brothers) need to speak up about our sin. We need to not hold it inside. We need to create a culture that helps each other break free from the lies and labels.
For my struggle the Lord brought along a few people in my life who I could be real with and open with about it all. Who were able to help me battle the war against the lies and labels. To realize the truth about who I was in Christ. That I was defined by HIM. Not by my sin. Not by my fears. Not by the labels the enemy (or I had) placed on me.
My friends, there is healing when sin is brought to the light. So whatever you are going through, whatever you are struggling with, remember. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You are loved, by others and by God. Open up and share your heart, because that my friends, is when the healing begins. You are too precious to walk the journey alone.
Your sister in Christ,